"Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies...her children arise up and call her blessed."
Proverbs 31:10, 28
Virtuous women
are scarce. They are far less common
than precious gems. On any given day,
you can go to the local mall, and find dozens of rubies, emeralds, and even
diamonds—all out on display at one of several jewelry stores. But not so with virtuous women. I would dare say that, on any of the 365 days
of the year, given the task of seeking out virtuous women, you would be hard
pressed to find a mere handful. The
dearth of virtue among ladies of this culture reminds me of the absence of
righteousness in ancient Sodom and Gomorrah.
God had promised that He wouldn’t destroy those two cities if only there
could be found ten righteous people; but alas, ten couldn’t be found. The same is true today of virtuous women—very
difficult to find because very few exist anymore. Thus, if you ever happen to find and know
one, you know she is precious!
11 The heart of her husband doth safely
trust in her,
so that he shall have no need of spoil.
Faithfulness is
one of the salient attributes of God. It
is because of His faithfulness (i.e., His trustworthiness) that we can entrust
to Him our hearts, completely and without reserve. To trust in God is not to exhibit some
excellent quality of my own, but rather to recognize the excellent quality of
trustworthiness in my God. The same is
true of a virtuous woman—the very fact that a husband can safely trust in her
reflects her character of purity and devotion, and yes, trustworthiness. A man who is married to a virtuous woman
never worries about her fidelity. He
never fears her absence. Other men
aren’t threats to him, not because of who he is, but because of who she
is. She gives no hint of betrayal; for
she has made a covenant in her heart to stay true. And this her husband knows.
12 She will do him good and not evil
all the days of her life.
So many men find
their wives to be a burden, so few a blessing.
A virtuous woman is a blessing to many in general, but especially to him
in particular. How common it is for a
wife, through the wearing down of time, to become selfish and indifferent to
her husband! So many young ladies start
out in marriage eagerly excited to make their husbands happy, but end up
distancing themselves from their husbands, focusing on their own self-interests
and hobbies. But the virtuous wife is
committed to doing her husband good for all the days of her life.
In all of this,
the children of a virtuous woman are educated, conditioned, and molded by her
life. They learn from her qualities,
and, as they grow older and gain life experience, they begin to deeply
understand how remarkable their mother is!
They find that
the good qualities that have propelled them in life are qualities they learned
from their mother. They find that so
much of what makes life difficult, confusing, and distasteful stems from a lack
of virtue in the world. And this they
know, because they were immersed into a home where virtue was modeled and made
prominent by their mother.
Children of a
virtuous woman see the depravity of man more clearly than others; for the
selfishness and pride of this world stand in stark contrast to the
thoughtfulness and humility of the one who crafted their character. The hatred and violence of the world is so loathsome
to those who have tasted the sweetness of a tender and loving mother.
The children of a
virtuous woman know they have a precious gift from God.
13 She seeketh wool, and flax,
and worketh willingly with her hands.
A virtuous mother
teaches by her example first, and her words second, that hard work is to be
eagerly accepted. She is like the
Proverbial ant, who needs no ruler or overseer to ensure his diligence in a
task. Her work-ethic transcends the
industrious success stories of the corporate world; for they do it for a
reward, but she, for others.
14 She is like the merchants 'ships;
she bringeth her food from afar.
15 She riseth also while it is yet night,
and giveth meat to her household,
and a portion to her maidens.
A virtuous mother
puts the needs of her family before the needs of her own body. She suffers while they sing. She aches while they dance. She prays while they play.
16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it:
with the fruit of her hands she planteth a
vineyard.
The niceties of
home are not by chance. Gardens don’t
just appear. And so often, it is the
calloused, thorn-pierced hands of a virtuous mother that plant the vineyard from
which the family drinks the juice. It
takes planning, risk, sacrifice, and toil.
And so shamefully often, the recipients of the fruit never realize,
consider, or appreciate the work of the one who planted the vineyard. Yet—she will plant again next Spring, and
will so continue for as long as her hands can work.
17 She girdeth her loins with strength,
and strengtheneth her arms.
18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is
good:
her candle goeth not out by night.
19 She layeth her hands to the spindle,
and her hands hold the distaff.
How rare to find
a woman who is strong for the sake of serving!
Many there be of women who spend countless hours and innumerable dollars
to be fit. They work out, they exercise,
they join fitness programs, they train, they discipline themselves. But for what?
A virtuous woman
is strong, not only because she serves her family, but in order
to serve them. She takes out trash,
moves furniture, and works in the yard.
She scrubs floors, hangs Christmas lights, and carries children in her
arms. And though she’s weak, she doesn’t
faint. Though she tires, she doesn’t
quit. Though it hurts, she doesn’t relinquish
her responsibilities as the “keeper” of her home.
20 She stretcheth out her hand to the
poor;
yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the
needy.
She is
compassionate. She sees not that the
poor are deserving of their poverty; but that she is no less deserving than
they. She doesn’t avoid the needy;
rather, she tries to find them. She is
not afraid to touch the afflicted and diseased, for she knows that the
brutality of the plague is most heavily felt, not by infirmities of the flesh,
but by loneliness of ostracism. “Blessed
are the merciful”—it’s true, and the virtuous woman knows it.
21 She is not afraid of the snow for her
household:
for all her household are clothed with
scarlet.
22 She maketh herself coverings of
tapestry;
her clothing is silk and purple.
Fashion is not
her thing. Yet she fashions herself in a
way that clearly identifies her character.
She is chaste, thus she covers herself.
She is a lady, thus she wears silk.
She is honorable, thus she chooses the color of royalty. She doesn’t “dress to impress”—that’s not her
goal. Yet she makes an impression on all
that see her! And what is it that people
see? Virtue! Virtue!
Virtue! What a contrast to what
the discerning eye can see of the pride and vanity that women shamelessly
display by their obsession with style and fashion!
23 Her husband is known in the gates,
when he sitteth among the elders of the
land.
Some men are just
lucky! At least, that’s what her
husband’s co-workers think! While most
men don’t have time enough to recite all of the grievances and heartache
engendered by their wives, the husband of a virtuous woman can only share with
his colleagues the marital blessings occasioned by his beloved. He can’t partake in their griping, for to do
so would make him a liar. And when they
see his freshly pressed clothes every day, and his lunch sack chock full of the
homemade goodies he loves, and when they observe her stopping by the office
just to tell him she loves him, and when they see all of the homemade cards
made by his children plastered all over his office—the men in the gates, the
elders of the land, know—they know—that he is a blessed man!
24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it;
and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
25 Strength and honour are her clothing;
and she shall rejoice in time to come.
Women who live
for themselves rejoice for a season.
They laugh, sing, and dance…but then the night falls. The virtuous woman bites the bullet for now,
so that she can laugh in the end. The
mourning of the night is replaced by the joy of the morning. When she sees that her husband has been raised
up…when she sees that her children have been trained up…when she sees that the
poor and needy have been lifted up…then she will rejoice! And this she knows, and this she believes,
and this is that for which she continues.
26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom;
and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
Law is a strict
governor. There is no variance in
law. And a virtuous woman has in her
tongue the law of kindness! She is not
critical. She is kind. She is not harsh. She is kind.
She is not demeaning or venomous.
She is kind. She doesn’t seek to
slander, embarrass, or cut down; for she is kind. She doesn’t mock or ridicule; for she is
kind. She doesn’t use her words to
punish, threaten, or intimidate; for she is kind. Kindness is the law of her tongue.
27 She looketh well to the ways of her
household,
and eateth not the bread of idleness.
Her focus is not
on herself but on others, especially those of her household. She doesn’t waste time that could be
otherwise utilized for the well-being of her family. She is not a couch potato, she’s not addicted
to soaps, and she doesn’t sacrifice involvement with her family so she can be
involved with the lives of fictitious characters on television. She is more concerned about what is going on
in the lunchroom, the locker room, and the bedroom of her child—far more so
than what is going on in the Middle East, the White House, or the Superbowl.
28 Her children arise up, and call her
blessed;
her husband also, and he praiseth her.
They can do no
other. And it’s not a coincidence or
luck on their part. It is because they
were blessed of the Lord to have a mother who is unlike most.
29 Many daughters have done virtuously,
but thou excellest them all.
There’s a big
difference between doing virtuously and being virtuous! The virtuous woman is not virtuous because of
what she does; she does virtuously because of who she is. Most sons believe their mother is “the
best”; but the son of a virtuous woman knows his mother is the best, for she
“excels them all!”
30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is
vain:
but a woman that feareth the Lord, she
shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands;
and let her own works praise her in the
gates.
_________________________________________________
These reflections of Proverbs 31 were not
occasioned by a desire to give textual commentary; rather, the purpose for
these expressed thoughts was to give honor to the virtuous mother with which
God has blessed me.
Nancy Krampert is
a virtuous woman.
She is everything
that these twenty-two verses depict.
Anyone who knows her, including those who are closest to her, knows this
to be true.
She is
faithful. Never has anyone in our family
ever doubted her loyalty to us or to God.
She never quits or rests until she has finished the task.
She is diligent.
She is strong.
She is a lady.
She is known in
the gates.
She is kind.
She is virtuous, and she is to be
praised!
